ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SUNDAY, 8 SEPTEMBER 2019
Consistency is key.
You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only consistent thing about you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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