ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The return to office is completely optional.
So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet there you are, ranked 41st. They're "reviewing" 41st.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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