ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 23 SEPTEMBER 2019
Listen to your body.
It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been asking for eleven years.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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