ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen.
It will still be on that wall long after your name is off the door.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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