ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You wanted a mini-me.
You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost to you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- Roblox was free. The hat was £4.99. The sword was “everyone has one”.
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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