ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- Wealth is built slowly. Debt is built quickly. And it's hereditary.
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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