ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January.
It's been screaming quietly ever since.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Mistakes were made. Nobody made them. They just happened, like weather.
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You call it "quiet quitting". Your manager calls it "the same as before". Nobody…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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