ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees are getting different memos now, mostly from a specialist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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