ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Underconsumption core is a beautiful aesthetic. It's what the last week of the month…
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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