ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Underconsumption core is a beautiful aesthetic. It's what the last week of the month…
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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