ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being single means nobody steals your duvet.
It also means the duvet is the only witness to your life.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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