ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 14 SEPTEMBER 1993
You "don't do small talk".
You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails or replying. You do "vibes", and nobody can invoice those.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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