ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January.
It's been screaming quietly ever since.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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