ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Limited-time event. Will not return.
Neither will your Saturday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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