ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care.
It's been delivered. It's been read. It is now the most caring thing anyone has ever ignored.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
One quote. Every morning. Delivered before coffee, when you are weakest and the day has not yet had the chance to disappoint you itself.
No spam. Just disappointment. Unsubscribe whenever you regain hope.