ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The battle pass costs £9.99 a season.
Your childhood cost nothing and had better rewards.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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