ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your company will send flowers to your funeral.
They'll be charged to your department's budget.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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