ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle.
The kettle will outlast the excitement. Possibly you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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