ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- A full review is ongoing. Ongoing is a very comfortable place for a review…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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