ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You left them on read "to be mysterious".
They didn't notice. They were also being mysterious. You're now two mysteries who will never speak again.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- A full review is ongoing. Ongoing is a very comfortable place for a review…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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