ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Not all who wander are lost. You are. The map gave up.
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- The documentary is unfiltered. It took seven people to remove the filter.
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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