ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every parent has a favourite child.
It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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