ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your squad misses you, says the notification.
Your squad is four strangers and a retention dashboard.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- In three generations, nobody will remember your name. You don't know your great-grandmother's, so…
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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