ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The house will be tidy again one day.
The day they move out. Tidy, silent, and you'll hate every inch of it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Your inbox reached zero once. The server was down. You were briefly free and…
- Lessons will be learned. By whom, and when, will also be learned. Eventually. Possibly.
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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