ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands.
It will be the most productive minute of the quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- Your partner says they'd be lost without you. They'd be lost for about eighteen…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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