ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212.
The game hasn't been fun since day 30. The streak doesn't care.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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