ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 14 APRIL 1994
Your call is important to us.
Not important enough to answer, but important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- You bought 41 games in the Steam sale. You will play two. The other…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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