ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Nobody notices when you do your job well.
Everyone notices when you leave at 5:01. Your retirement will get a shorter email.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- The form needs a form. The second form is not currently available.
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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