ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 13 APRIL 1994
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You bought 41 games in the Steam sale. You will play two. The other…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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