ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 5 APRIL 1994
You said "my For You page knows me so well".
It knows you're awake and lonely at 2 a.m. That's not a gift. That's data.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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