ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 12 DECEMBER 2002
You're "so random".
You've told the same "so random" story at every party since 2022.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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