ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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