ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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