ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The in-office lunch is optional.
The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is writing down who didn't come. Then who did, but looked replaceable.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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