ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said "that's so me" about a horoscope.
It also described 600 million other people and a goldfish.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- Your job title will outlive you. It's already been posted on LinkedIn, with a…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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