ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You "don't believe in labels".
You believe in being kept as an option.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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