ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 17 APRIL 2003
Consistency is key.
You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only consistent thing about you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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