ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 3 APRIL 2003
You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move.
Your audience is very engaged. Just not with lifting a sofa.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- You've got a side hustle, a passion project and a podcast. Combined monthly income:…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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