ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You don't have a type.
You have a pattern. Your friends have a group chat about it. You're not in it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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