ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Inside every older person is a younger person.
The younger person is furious about the knees.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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