ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands.
It will be the most productive minute of the quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Lessons will be learned. By whom, and when, will also be learned. Eventually. Possibly.
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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