ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've "been meaning to" for three years.
The thing you meant to do has since been invented, finished and replaced by AI.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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