ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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