ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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