ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every Monday you swear this week will be different.
You've sworn it nine hundred times. The week stopped listening.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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