ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "so random".
You've told the same "so random" story at every party since 2022.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
One quote. Every morning. Delivered before coffee, when you are weakest and the day has not yet had the chance to disappoint you itself.
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